The Ones Who Stayed

When somebody had to show up, month after month after month, it was Devon. Almost always, it was Devon.

I would not even be here without her. I do not say that to keep score, and I made my peace long ago with who did not come. I say it because it is the simplest way I know to describe what one faithful person can be in a life.

There is more of that story in my memoir. What I want to preach about here is the ones who stay, because I have learned that they are rarely the people you expected, and they are almost always the reason you are still standing.

It Is Usually Not Who You Thought

Here is what a long crisis teaches you, and it is hard the first time. Some people you were certain would be there are not. And some people you barely knew turn out to be the ones who never miss. That reordering hurts. There is a grief in it that nobody talks about, because you lose people at the exact moment you needed them, and it happens quietly, without a conversation.

But Look at Who Did Come

But if you spend all your attention on the absence, you will miss the miracle standing right in front of you. Because somebody came. Maybe not many. Maybe not the ones you expected. But somebody kept showing up, and that is not ordinary. Sometimes it is a coworker. Sometimes a friend. Sometimes a stranger who became family. Sometimes somebody you met at the exact moment you needed to meet them.

This Is How He Works

And I want you to see that this is God's normal method, not a consolation prize. Psalm 68:6 says God setteth the solitary in families. He builds families that are not always biological.

In Exodus 17, when Moses' arms grew too heavy to hold up, Aaron and Hur put a stone under him so he could sit, and then stood on either side and held his arms up until sundown. And the battle was won that way. The deliverer needed to be held. God's provision for the strongest man in Israel was two ordinary men standing beside him.

Ruth Would Not Leave

And Ruth said to Naomi, intreat me not to leave thee. Where thou goest, I will go. Naomi had nothing to offer her. Ruth stayed anyway. Note that Naomi's own life did not turn around because of a miracle out of the sky. It turned around because one person refused to leave.

And Paul Named Names

And Paul, who suffered a great deal, kept lists of the ones who stayed. In Second Timothy 1 he writes about Onesiphorus and says, he oft refreshed me, and was not ashamed of my chain. But, when he was in Rome, he sought me out very diligently, and found me. He sought me out very diligently, and found me. That is a man who had to go looking for a prisoner and did it. And Paul says in that same letter, at my first answer no man stood with me, but all men forsook me. He names the absence honestly, and then he names the ones who came anyway. So it is scriptural to hold both. You can say plainly that some people did not come, and still honor the ones who did.

Tell Them

First, tell them, out loud and specifically. Do not assume they know. People who show up quietly usually assume nobody noticed. Say the specific thing. You drove me in February when it was ice on the road. You called every Sunday for two years. I would not be here without you.

Let Them

Second, and this is harder for some of us, let them keep doing it. There is a pride in a strong person that will not receive, and it exhausts the people who love you, because refusing help is a way of holding somebody at arm's length while calling it consideration. Galatians 6:2 says bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ. When you refuse, you are not being noble. You are preventing somebody from fulfilling a command.

Do Not Require Them to Be Perfect

Third, do not demand more of them than a human being can give. They are not perfect. They will not always be there at the exact moment you need them. They cannot fix what is broken. But they are there. And that matters more than everything else. If you require a faithful person to be an ideal one, you will eventually lose them, and you will have done it to yourself.

And Make Your Peace With Who Did Not Come

And fourth, deal with the absence honestly and then set it down. Paul said of the people who abandoned him, I pray God that it may not be laid to their charge. He named it, forgave it, and kept walking. Because if you spend the rest of your life auditing who was not there, you will not be present to the ones who were.

Somebody Needs You to Be Their Devon

And here is the turn, because this teaching is not only about receiving. Somebody in your life right now is in month eight of something, and everybody who came at the beginning has gone back to their lives. Be the one who is still coming. Proverbs 17:17 says a friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. Born for adversity. Some people are specifically made for the long hard middle of somebody else's story. It is not complicated. Show up. Keep showing up. Be reachable. Do the practical thing without being asked.

So let me bring it home. Those people are your lifeline. They are not perfect. They cannot fix what is broken. But they are there. And they are evidence of something important, which is this: you are not alone. No matter how dark it has gotten, no matter how much you feel like you are disappearing, somebody is there. Somebody sees you. When somebody had to show up for me, month after month after month, it was Devon. Go tell yours. And then go be somebody else's.